Titanic Articles: Ireland Discovery - To Be Or Not To Be

 

 

I finally was able to travel to Ireland after twenty-five years of waiting. This trip would be worth the wait for I would learn of my destiny and my heritage. While on a layover at Chicago O'Hare airport I met with my brother. He brought my father's remains to the airport. My dad had passed away a few months prior. My father had been to Ireland several times and I thought it would be a nice gesture to have a small ceremony in the land of our ancestors. I was not able to make any prior arrangements and hoped God would make a way. The entire trip was blessed from beginning to end. I was worried that I would have problems at customs bringing in my father's remains, but had no problem what so ever. The day we arrived at Shannon airport the blessing began to be manifested. During the flight my wife Chris and I had visited with several people also travelling on to Ireland. We all compared notes about our travel plans. Many had booked with tour groups, while we arranged all of our rentals and accommodations our self. A friend named Nancy Reeb had been to Ireland dozens of times and told us to call the rental company direct at the Shannon Airport. We were advised to use our MasterCard and wave the local insurance. MasterCard had an international plan that would cover auto insurance when using their card. We verified this policy with the rental car company and booked our car for about 130 Euro for the week. We compared notes with others we had shared the plane with and found we had saved over 200 Euro. The advise from our friend saved us approximately $240 US dollars. We could sense the Lord was already helping us with our Ireland holiday.

 

My wife Chris had been working on our genealogy for many years with a lot of branches still missing from our family tree. During her previous Internet searching she had met our money saving friend Nancy Reeb. She had a great understanding about Kiltimach Ireland the town were my heritage began. Nancy also had relatives born in Kiltimach Ireland and had visited there on many occasions. The week we were planning on going to Ireland Nancy and her husband were also visiting from New Jersey. My wife had arranged for us to meet, where we would be introduced to some of the Kiltimach locals. These Kiltimach people are some of the nicest most accommodating people I have ever met.

I had never met my grandfather as he died when I was very young. I was very excited to meet people that perhaps new something about my grandfather and grandmother. The people we met were so interested in helping us discover information about our relatives. They looked through my wife's genealogy notes, through all the Lydon and McNicholas names desiring to help us find a common thread. Apparently in this area of Ireland our family names were as common as Smith or Jones in the states.

We had brought along some old family pictures and starting showing them around to the group. The group consisted of Nancy Reeb and her husband our Internet genealogy connection, Johny Kelly a Kiltimach retired taxi driver that spent forty years getting to know about everyone in the area, Betty Solan a local historian who had a great understanding of all things Kiltimach, what a wonderful group. As the pictures were passed from one person to the next I heard a beautiful phrase. "I know that man, I'm sure of it, I know that man, that's Jamsey Dan Lydon." This wonderful little Irish man named Johnny Kelly actually knew one of my relatives. The man he pointed out turned out to be my great uncle, the brother of my grandfather. We were so blessed that Johnny Kelly had been invited to this meeting to help us (yanks) connect with my ancestors. I think he was more excited then us, he was genuinely thrilled to help. Once we found we were on the right track the names began to fly back and forth between these locals. Once they got going their Irish brogue got as thick as pea soup. I remember hearing my grandmother speak a little Gaelic but I could not follow any of this. Johnny Kelly starting making phone calls asking if anyone else had any information. It was wonderful to see the excitement you would have thought we won the lottery.

 

Johnny told me that he would show me the house my grandfather grew up in. I was so thrilled I could hardly contain myself. We were still unclear about the McNicholas link on my grandmothers side. We were told there are a dozen McNichlos's for every penny. My wife began to list all the different McNicholas names from her research records. The name Paddy McNicholas was mentioned and once again I heard that beautiful phrase, "I know that man." Johnny Kelly came through again and verified we now had links from both of my grandparents. This was amazing! We had found more documented information in this short meeting than my wife had found in years of research. The blessings kept coming! Johnny made the offer to drive with us and point out both my grandmother and grandfathers old homes. He also arranged for us to meet my cousin Paddy. We left the meeting and headed first to see Paddy McNicholas, this meeting would give me a knew appreciation of life. As we began to visit we also showed Paddy some of our family pictures. He pointed to the same picture as Johnny had and said, "I know that man, that's Jamesy Dan Lydon. I told Paddy Mac that Jamsey Dan Lydon was my great uncle. He now realized who I was and began to tell me he had met my father Eugene. He asked about my dad and I informed him he had recently passed away. Paddy Mac said to me, "Now how would you like to hear about your grandfather? " I was thrilled!

There is a void inside when you have not met the patriarchs of your family. It is important to be able to identify with your heritage. I was about to learn some things that could have altered my very existence.

 

Paddy Mac explained to me that my grandfather had a girl friend named Mary McNicholas that lived across the field. He told me she had been an assistant teacher at a local school. Paddy explained how my grandfather Michael was promised to Mary and they were thinking of going to America. Things were very bad in Ireland there were virtually no prospects, and the family farm could not support them all. My grandfather and his girlfriend would soon leave all they knew and venture to the states. They had to save over a year's wages each before they would have enough money make the trip. In the year 1912 with money in hand Michael Joseph Lydon and Mary Cecelia McNicholas made their way to the local overseas ticket office with money in hand. The proprietor Mr. Murphy told my grandfather there was a new ship getting ready to head out, but the price would be more than he had brought. My grandfather and his girlfriend Mary (later to be my grandmother) said "we can't afford the new ship we will have to leave later on a different ship. The ship they could not afford to board was to set out on its maiden voyage, and was called the Titanic .

As Paddy Mac told me the story I was in awe. Paddy Mac said, "If your grandfather had a little more money, we would not be having this conversation because you would have never been born . I was told that everyone in the town knew of my grandparent's decision saved their lives. The ship they later sailed on was the Campathia a sister ship to the Carpathia, the ship that had picked up the survivors from the Titanic .

Wow talk about choices and destiny.

This story of my heritage makes me think about that movie, "It's A Wonderful Life." What if I had never been born? What if you had never been born? Think about it! To be or not to be?

 

I hope I would be remembered as someone who made a difference who did something with his life. I have been truly blessed to have been born and experienced the joy of just living. I have been through many difficult things in my life, but the Lord brought me through them all. I have been given the most precious wife I could ever ask for, she was my destiny. Through our almost thirty year relationship we have been blessed with a beautiful loving relationship. We have been given two wonderful children and three grandchildren. I did not have a great relationship with my father until later in my life. I was angry about my parents divorce and took sides aligning myself with my mother. I was able to visit my mother on her last birthday which was also the day of year death. I was there to pray with my mother holding her hand as she passed on into the heavenliest. I was later able to reconcile with my father and spent ten years living in the same town sharing some wonderful experiences. I had some deep discussions with my dad as his sickness became more severe and was able to help him make things right with God. My father passed away in Chicago area March 2005 and I was asked to perform part of the funeral service. As a pastor I had performed many funeral services, but never at a Catholic church sharing the platform with the parish priest. Instead of doing a typical funeral remembrance I told the audience to imagine what my father would say if He could speak from beyond. I played the part of my dad said, "I can now testify to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, there are no words that can describe how beautiful and peaceful it is here. Try to remember the good times and don't dwell on the not so good. I was not perfect, so forgive me my short comings and forgive each other too, here in heaven their big on forgiveness". I went on speaking as if I was my dad and said I love you all and I'm proud of you. Coming from a family of nine children I was privileged to have been the one chosen to speak during my fathers service. During my Ireland visit I was able to bring some of my fathers remains to the place where my heritage began. I discovered that there was an old cemetery on the outskirts of town called Killeldan Cemetary. The Gaelic translation is Reilic Chill Liadain which translated means the (Chill) church of (Liadain) Lydon. This area is were my early ancestors were from. It is said that they donated the land and helped to build the old church. It turns out in that location stood the remains of an church and graveyard dated back to about 800 AD. I was able to honour my father and have a private service in the back section of that ancient cemetery. Previously that week I found three flagstone type flat stones while visiting the homesteads of my grandparents. I prepared a small tabernacle using the three stones and buried my fathers ashes there. I also had visited the Knock Ireland shrine and was able to get some holy water there. I poured the holy water on top of the little tabernacle, I know it honoured my dad's Catholic faith. I carved my father's name into an old tree just above his little marker at the site. What a privilege it was to have been able to honour my father in that way. I am blessed and have been given a wonderful gift of life. I will start each day asking God's help to try to be a blessing to others while I have an opportunity to do so. Having faith in God and assurance that there is an eternal destiny gives me genuine peace. God's plan for my destiny began when my grandfather could not afford to board that ship in 1912 called the Titanic. Through his choice my heritage and ultimately very my life was spared. How many other times have I been spared, and given another day perhaps to make a difference. It truly is, "A Wonderful Life."

Barry Gerard Michael Lydon